Understanding and Responding Affirmatively to My Child's Behavior

Teaneck Public Schools May 25, 2022
7:30 PM

Workshop Objectives:

✓Define behavior

✓Explain why inappropriate behavior occurs ✓Discuss Positive Discipline
✓Learn strategies to prevent and respond to behavior challenges

✓Understand the symptoms and triggers of end-of-the-year anxiety, spring fever and summer meltdowns

How are Behaviors Learned?

Conditioning:

Associating a behavior with a specific response or stimulus Modeling:
Repeating what they observe

Emotions Impact Behavior:

• Being able to regulate emotions is part of normal development, but not all children develop at the same rate.

• Most children have learned to handle their emotions appropriately before the age of 9. They have also developed
language skills to express feelings such as frustration and anger and they have learned to negotiate.

• Inappropriate behavior occurs when children are overwhelmed by their emotions and are unable understand, express or handle those emotions.

Determine the Cause:

• Is your child’s negative behavior an attempt to get your attention?

• Is something else bothering them that is causing them to act inappropriately?

• Is someone is treating them inappropriately?

Understand Your Child… Encourage your child to talk about their emotions:

•	Talking about their feelings can reduce their anxiety.

•	Talking and listening will help you understand what’s going on in your child’s life. •	When you understand your child, you’re better able to help them manage
anxieties or find solutions to problems.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings: • Your child’s emotions are real.
• It is important to acknowledge your child’s emotions and validate their feelings. • Tell them you’re confident they can handle challenges and if they need help, you
are there to guide them.

www.RaisingKids.Net.Au

We hope to develop the following in our children:

✓Impulse control ✓Problem resolution ✓Negotiation skills
✓Language expression for wants and needs ✓Expectations of certain situations

Practice Positive Discipline:

1. Understand your child

2. Help your child be aware of their emotions 3. Validate their feelings
4. Be a positive role model for your child

5. Set behavioral goals and expectations, make a plan and stick with it!

6. Be firm in your decisions, limits, and rules, but do it with love!

Practice Positive Discipline (continued):

7. Talk to your child often

8. Focus on solutions rather than problems and involve your child in the process

9. Direct attention on the behavior or action and not the person

10. When necessary, give them a consequence without intimidating them

Helping My Child Develop Brave Behavior:

Encourage your child to use:

●	Positive self-talk – for example, ‘I can handle this. I’ve been in situations

like this before.’

●	Self-compassion – for example, ‘It’s OK if I do this differently from other

people. This way works for me.’

●	Assertiveness – for example, ‘I need some help with this project.’

www.RaisingKids.Net.au

Develop a Plan for Responding to Your Child’s Behavior... Be alert and have a plan in place to intervene quickly…

1.	Decide on a communication system (verbal and non-verbal) Ask your child to use signals with you when they are feeling anxious, frustrated or upset.
2.	Identify a “safe-space” where your child can escape to when they are feeling anxious, stressed, or irritated and need to “cool off”.
3.	Help them identify a point person at school for a brief “check-in” (5–10 minutes) This individual can help your child dispel worries or negative thoughts and practice relaxation exercises before returning to class.
4.	Help your child identify a point person outside of school to discuss their feelings. This can be a parent, older sibling, relative, mentor or counselor.

www.Weareteachers.com

Recognize Your Child’s Attempts:

Any attempt at positive behavior, or even the child's effort towards this behavior should be recognized, valued, and encouraged!

Give your child credit for trying!

Keep Calm…

Our tone of voice and level of motor agitation can serve as models of calm or nervousness for children.

Use a firm but low-volume tone of voice to regulate their behavior.

Give Your Child Choices:

- Will you peal carrots or cut broccoli for dinner?

- Will you begin your homework before you have a snack or after you are finished?

- Will you set the table or clear the dishes?

- Will you take out the garbage when you get home from school or after dinner?

- When you help with the laundry, will you fold shirts or match socks?

Be Resilient and Recover:

• Resilient people tend to be flexible.

• Resilience is the ability to face challenges with courage and recover quickly from setbacks.

When your child acts out, address the situation calmly, give consequences and move on. Do not dwell on the incident.

Spring Fever!

• Webster’s Dictionary defines Spring Fever as, “a lazy or restless feeling often associated with the onset of
Spring”.

• After winter, spring flowers begin blooming, it is a little warmer outside, and the days are a little longer. We want
to be outside! This is “Spring Fever” and we have all experienced it at some point and to varied degrees.

• Spring Fever is real, and was known as “Spring Disease” in the 1700’s and 1800’s. This was a springtime illness
that involved fatigue, bone pain, and poor wound healing among other maladies. Remedies included fruits and vegetables containing Vitamin C were used as treatment.

Symptoms of Spring Fever

• Biological systems act up

• Increased energy and productivity • From pessimism to optimism
• Positivity, super-friendliness

• (Common among those with seasonal affective disorder)

www.webmd.com

Preventing Summer Melt-downs…

• Be prepared with a Summer “Tool-kit”
• Keep a backpack packed with snacks, waters, an activity book, markers, colored pencils, paper, books, a favorite toy
• Bring a cooling towel or ice packs in an insulated bag • Create a scavenger hunt
• Stick to routines
• Use creative projects: painting, drawing, writing
• Play a sport, go hiking, biking, swimming, create sidewalk art, etc. • Seek out extra academic help to prevent “The Summer Slide”

Summertime!

• Help your child burn energy! Get that energy out! Buy some art supplies and paint or draw outside.
• Encourage them to exercise.
• Enroll in a spring/summer sport.
• Sign up for summer camp. Help your child research what kind of camp or camps they are interested in.
• Let them help you gather information and help you plan their summer vacation.
• Encourage hiking, running, biking
• Get organized: have them help you organize a closet, their bedrooms, the garage, the basement. Toss school supplies that they no longer need or that no longer work and replace with those that do.

Volunteer Over the Summer…

Find a Summer Job…

Summer Camp!

There are camps for kids who are interested in… • STEM
• Art
• Drama • Sports
• Bible camp (Vacation Bible School) • Travel camps
• Sleep-away camp

Summer Programs in Teaneck: TPS’ Summer Camp – Camp K

https://www.teaneckschools.org/Su mmerCampProgramCampK.aspx

Teaneck Public Library – hosts events for families, teens and young children: www.teanecklibrary.org

View the full newsletter here:
Teaneck Library Newsletter_Spring_2022

The last few weeks of school…

• Remind (and encourage) them that we are almost at the finish line.

• Keep routines, expectations, and structure alive! • Review goals
• Reward them at the end

What Questions Do You Have?

References

APA - Anxiety Topics

ADAA anxiety facts and statistics, Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Investing in anxiety and depression treatment, World Health Organization

Children's Hospital= Anxiety Treatment

RaisingKids.Au.Net Anxiety Support-COVID Weareteachers.com